Saturday, September 8, 2012

Earnest Tan's 2012 workshops - Report

We were fortunate and privileged to have Earnest back with us again. TTL discovered over the years that there is a great need to be holistic human beings, paying attention not only to our spirit, but also to our mind and body. Psycho-spiritual learning became a focus of our endeavours and Earnest Tan fitted in ideally with our needs as a popular presenter and psycho-spiritual counsellor.

Anger Management Workshop (30-31 August 2012)

At this workshop, Earnest led participants through interactive exercises and his teaching with power point to understand the nature of anger and how to identify and name anger and aggression. He showed participants how anger can be a destructive force when it is expressed negatively as well as how it is constructive when it is “purposeful” or positive and how this helps us deal with issues justly and in a tempered way.

Participants were shown how to diagnose and report anger by means of an “anger inventory” and why it is important to learn how to be assertive in opposition to being non-assertive or aggressive in relationships. Practical tools to manage anger were very helpful especially the 3 parts of writing of non-threatening I-Messages (versus You-Messages) that focus on expressing feelings in the hope of resolving issues with family or friends or colleagues. The last module of the workshop focused on balancing justice with compassion. Here the matter of the art of forgiving and reconciling as well as acceptance of what is possible/ not possible were the focus.

Participant's Evaluation

What was helpful?
  • The 2-day duration – it gave me time to look into my anger, to identify it and name it and how to deal with it.
  • The Anger Inventory and the Anger Options and Coping Mechanisms – these are concrete methods and processes that help greatly in understanding where the anger comes from and how it can be made purposeful/constructive.
  • Earnest provided the tools for processing anger and how to build bridges through  “I-Messages”.
  • the group discussions and interactive exercises
  • the introvert, extrovert exercise and learning to be assertive and courageous
  • the sharing of personal stories and experiences
  • the art of forgiveness and compassion.
  • to learn that  anger is a universal emotion but there are right ways to  express it and deal with it
  • learning to let go and to temper justice with compassion
Group Discussions - how did they help?
  • sharing experiences is very useful as we hear other life stories to learn from
  • so pleased that participants were open, sincere and spontaneous
  • helps me to understand other points of view and other people
  • gained knowledge
  • extremely useful – an opportunity to learn from one another
  • many insights were gained from listening to others
  • refreshing to know that one is not isolated and that other people share the same pains, especially about everyday issues


  • at times, “mothering advice” was given in my group and I did not welcome it….
  • “For me personally they were not useful” (respondent did not say why)

Overall Responses
  • “People are sensible, it is amazing. Makes me wonder if these are a special group of people….. I feel loved and understood . I haven’t found or believed I have found such acceptance in other environments that I have been in for a long time……
  • My sincere thanks to the organizers.
  • The workshop was paced well – Earnest gave flexible timings as needed.
  • This is a good functioning group…..most of the members are mature and extremely capable of handling their anger… I have learned tremendously from all of them
  • This workshop was practical and relevant.
  • Very good course
  • Happy, good session and great people!


  • “What I really missed in this workshop are the scripture verses that we can relate to
  • The breaks were too long sometimes

About Earnest
  • Thank you Earnest for openly sharing your own personal experience. ….it helps me to share my personal problems……God Bless.
  • Earnest is a good presenter.
  • Personal thanks to Earnest for his generous self-disclosure. This gives what he teaches much credibility.


Human Sexuality Workshop (1-2 September 2012)

The session began with what the various dimensions of sexuality are and how to understand it in the context of the whole personhood of a human being. The primary, affective and genital aspects of sexuality were explained before the participants were taken through an inventory of their own psycho-sexual personal histories. This was done very cleverly through the tool of the Inner and Outer Circles where participants faced one another in teams of two while discussing questions given by Earnest.

What impacted most in the session that followed was Earnest’s own forthright sharing of his growth and experiences through childhood to adulthood that impacted his sexuality. This emboldened the participants to share freely their own stories with each other during the charting of their own personal psycho-sexual histories and also during the sharing time. The module on gender helped clarify the variety of sex-based prejudices that are common in society.The concluding modules were about managing sexual energy based on “L-i-f-e” (Love, infatuation, friendship and exploitation) Choices and how to embrace our total sexuality in the light of God’s power and grace.

Participant's Evaluation

What was helpful ?
  • It gave me a lot of knowledge about sexuality issues
  • It gave me more understanding of the stages of sexual maturity
  • To understand and embrace the idea that there is no separation between sexuality and spirituality – to say we are spiritual and not sensual is to deny our sexuality (eg. masturbation does not need confession)
  • “Where did that come from?” By posing this question, Earnest went to the root of problem
  • Understand fixations and guidelines for clarity  - helps us to lower our expectations of others and be more understanding and tolerant so that we improve our relationships and ourselves.
  • Chance to share in a “safe atmosphere”
  • the Psycho-sexual development chart
  • L-i-f-e- Choices and Relationship Inventory
  • how to manage sexual energies
  • Inner and Outer Circle method of sharing stories
The Group Discussions – how did they help?
  • “It was fabulous! In many ways”
  • It gave me confidence & assurance that I am not alone in the situation.
  • I have more understanding of my partner.
  • Sharing experiences is very useful as we hear other life stories to learn from.
  • It broadened my awareness – the cross-sharing gives ideas to apply in my own life situations.
  • It is about shared humanity and practical wisdom – evokes empathy.
  • It helps me to understand other points of view and other people – how different people look at the same issue in different ways
  • It allows me to be more open and expressive.
  • There was a lot of acceptance
  • It helps to know the struggles of others’ experiences.
  • I got helpful advice to grow in faith and spirituality.
  • It helps to bring suppressed emotions to the fore.
  • More sharing time is needed.
  • Need more time to digest the information
Overall Responses
  • Helped me get a better understanding of men, women, gays and lesbians.
  • My sincere thanks to the organizers.
  • A very useful and informative workshop – it should be promoted to everyone.
  • It would be sensible to facilitate follow-up meetings for support and outward growth.
  • It brings meaning to our lives.
  • Thank you TTL team!
  • Very good! Hope to see you again!
  • The whole session was conducted in layman’s terms.
  • Have this session again “so more people can be healed”
  • I realise how deep our “constructs” are and the effect they have on our life
  • I am sleepy – maybe play some videos about the topics?
About Earnest
  • Thank you Earnest!
  • A very down-to-earth  presenter
  • Presenter’s self-revelation is courageous, authentic and makes understanding easier.